Good Week, Wrong Sunday
Kent put up 162.71 points this week. Only Alex and Ryan topped it, and Kent had the misfortune of drawing the second one. Ryan dropped 173.86 on Baby Back Gibbs, Kent ate an 11.15-point loss, and he slid from 2 to 3 in the standings for the crime of being good at the wrong time.
Nobody who has watched Kent since 2016 is surprised. His luck rating sits at -6.27, the worst in the league, which means the schedule has been mugging him for years and he keeps strolling down the same alley with his wallet out. In 2025 he was the points king and the runner-up, a man who led the league in scoring and still had to watch somebody else hold the trophy. This week was that season in miniature, with less time to get his hopes up.
He and Ryan combined for 336.57 points, the highest-scoring game of the week. Kent contributed plenty to it. The box score has never once asked Kent how much he contributed.
51 Trades and a Very Full Receipt Drawer
The schedule is the second-most dangerous opponent Kent has ever faced. The first is Kent on the trade market. He has made 51 trades, far more than anyone else in this league, and the ledger reads 13 won, 23 lost, 15 even, for a career net of -15.86. That's the worst trade record in the league by a distance you could see from space. Every owner here has, at some point, opened a trade offer from Kent and felt the warm glow of Christmas morning.
The career record is 52-83. The lone title came in 2016, the league's very first season, before the rest of you had figured out what his offers looked like. Since then he has collected last places in 2020 and 2024, and he collects them with the same enthusiasm he brings to collecting other people's backups.
No trades went through this week, so Kent's net stayed exactly where he left it. It's the nicest thing anyone has done for it in years.
The Rich Get Richer, and Noah Gets Sympathy
Alex posted 175.04, the high score of the week, and beat Ben by 33.29, the week's biggest margin. This is the same Alex with titles in 2020 and 2022 and a trade net of 12.77, best in the league. Alex already has everything. Now he has Ben's lunch money too, figuratively, and moved from 5 to 4 for his trouble.
Ben fell to 0-3 and somehow climbed from 11 to 10 while doing it, which might be the closest he gets to a ceremony this year. The man has runner-up finishes in 2016, 2017 and 2019. He knows his way around second place, and this season he's working on his directions to tenth.
Noah beat Jake 143.97 to 117.89 and sits at 3-0 with 566.9 points, the most in the league. His luck rating is -5.86, making him the unluckiest undefeated champion you will ever meet. Jake is 0-3 and last, holding the league's lowest point total. The 2018 and 2019 titles are still his. Lately they're mostly what he has.
Kyle Is Undefeated, Evan Is Owed Nothing
Kyle beat Evan 145.94 to 132.26, moved from 3 to 2, and is 3-0 with 451.68 points. Kent has 540.39 and sits below him. If Kent ever needed one more reason to stare at the ceiling, Kyle has kindly provided it. Kyle has been here since 2016 with zero titles, a runner-up in 2018 and a last place in 2017, so enjoy the view from up there, Kyle. Bring a jacket. It's unfamiliar air.
Evan dropped from 4 to 7. Evan holds a luck rating of 9.73, the highest in the league, so the universe sending him a bill was overdue. He has titles in 2017 and 2021 and a last place in 2025, a résumé that reads like someone who wins the raffle and then backs over the prize.
Ryan made the biggest climb of the week, from 8 to 5, on the strength of that 173.86. His playoff years are 2016 and 2025 and nothing in between, so this is his once-a-decade move. He made it against Kent, the softest landing pad a climber could ask for.
Down Among the Nameless
Bo beat Gavin 146.28 to 141.63. Bo owns last places in 2021 and 2022, and at 2-1 he's now in the strange position of being someone else's cautionary tale. Gavin lost by 4.65 and fell to 0-3. Since joining in 2023 he's 14-28 with no playoff trips, a last place in his debut season, and a trade record of 5 won and 9 lost. His team still has no name in the league records. At 0-3 that may be a privacy decision.
Nolan won by 0.14 and still slid from 7 to 8, which is the standings' way of saying it saw the game. He's 2-1 with 390.65 points scored and 501.1 against, a record held together by the scheduling equivalent of duct tape. The 2024 title buys him a lot of patience. This week spent some of it.
And Kent sits at 2-1 with the second-most points in the league. That's exactly where you'd put him if you wanted a good seat for whatever happens to him next.
Game of the week
WK 3 · 2026+0.14
Nolan 102.25, Sirac 102.11. Decided by 0.14, the closest game of the week, and with 204.36 total points, also the one least likely to get replayed for fun. Sirac posted the week's low score and lost by a margin you could hide under a kicker's toenail, falling to 0-3 and from 10 to 11. His lone career trade is a win, net 0.47. Sirac is undefeated on the trade market and winless on the field, the exact opposite of Kent.
Standings through week 3
| Rank | Owner | W–L | PF | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Noah | 3–0 | 566.90 | W3 |
| 2 | Kyle | 3–0 | 451.68 | W3 |
| 3 | Kent | 2–1 | 540.39 | L1 |
| 4 | Alex | 2–1 | 485.86 | W2 |
| 5 | Ryan | 2–1 | 461.70 | W1 |
| 6 | Bo | 2–1 | 446.69 | W1 |
| 7 | Evan | 2–1 | 430.56 | L1 |
| 8 | Nolan | 2–1 | 390.65 | W2 |
| 9 | Gavin | 0–3 | 437.16 | L3 |
| 10 | Ben | 0–3 | 358.85 | L3 |
| 11 | Sirac | 0–3 | 351.29 | L3 |
| 12 | Jake | 0–3 | 316.10 | L3 |
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